{"id":1029,"date":"2026-05-22T17:47:36","date_gmt":"2026-05-22T17:47:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/askneurology.com\/index.php\/2026\/05\/22\/isnt-that-interesting-curiosity-and-humble-deferral\/"},"modified":"2026-05-22T17:47:36","modified_gmt":"2026-05-22T17:47:36","slug":"isnt-that-interesting-curiosity-and-humble-deferral","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/askneurology.com\/index.php\/2026\/05\/22\/isnt-that-interesting-curiosity-and-humble-deferral\/","title":{"rendered":"Isn\u2019t That Interesting? Curiosity and Humble Deferral\u2122"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Written By: <\/strong>Cyndy Hunt Luzinski, MS, RN, SPECAL\u00ae Master Practitioner<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Founder and Executive Director, Dementia Together<\/a><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Albert Einstein said, \u201cNever lose a holy curiosity.\u201d That\u2019s timeless wisdom for life and profoundly true in caring for a loved one living with dementia.<\/span><\/p>\n

This week in our Dementia Together family care partner workshops, we practiced a simple, powerful response when our instinct is to correct or contradict: Just \u201cfind it interesting.\u201d<\/strong> What does \u201cfinding it interesting\u201d look like? It looks like taking a strategic pause, maybe accompanied by a deep breath, softening our expression, maybe even smiling, making eye contact, and choosing curiosity.<\/span><\/p>\n

As we grasp that feelings store even when facts don\u2019t, curiosity becomes our pivot from arguing logical details to honoring deeper heart and soul feelings. Conveying genuine interest that our loved ones feel a certain way is easy and authentic as we realize feelings are more important than facts<\/strong> for anyone living with the disability of dementia. A loved one\u2019s \u201cI have to go to work\u201d may signal a deeper need for purpose, not a factual error to correct. A kind, gentle look conveying, \u201cthat\u2019s interesting\u201d instead of \u201cthat\u2019s not right\u201d can shift distress to calm.<\/span><\/p>\n

Humble deferral\"\u2122\"<\/em><\/a> is simply choosing to be kind, placing the well-being of our loved one above our desire to be right. Sometimes, humble deferral (also called compassionate deferral\"\u2122\") demonstrated with a nonverbal nod of acceptance is enough. Other times, in the case of a loved one feeling like it\u2019s time to go to work, it may lead to our need to join together in finding something meaningful to honor the need for purpose and engagement in the moment.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the everyday moments when we choose curiosity over certainty, kindness over being right, and humble deferral over contradiction, we practice a deeper kind of love. Something meaningful takes root there: Connection and grace that help both care partners and their loved ones \u201cdo dementia together.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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